I purchased this book seven months ago but hesitated to open it. My wife, Michelle, passed away in December 2022, just five months after Bill Johnson lost his wife, Beni. Watching Bill continue to minister and lead while grieving left me constantly wondering, “How does he do that?”
The Parallel Journey
The timing of finally reading it felt providential. While on a trip to Redding, California, I found myself sick on a Sunday morning. As I watched the Bethel service online—where Bill happened to be preaching about his journey—I began reading. Over the next two days, I found that our experiences with loss mirrored one another almost exactly.
The "Surrogate" Mentor
There is a specific kind of isolation that settles in after the first few months of loss. While friends and community are supportive initially, that contact inevitably fades, leaving you to feel as though you are walking out your grief alone. In this book, Bill became a "surrogate" friend and father to me. Even though he doesn't know me, he is the first person who truly "got me." He filled the gap that often exists between a grieving soul and a community that might be growing tired of the weight of that grief.
Vulnerability Over Authority
While Bill writes from his decades of experience as a leader, his greatest strength in these pages is his vulnerability. He admits to the same struggles I face—specifically the urge to "sneak out" of social events because the "rain-cloud" of grief feels too heavy to carry in a crowd. Hearing a leader of his stature admit to these feelings provided me with a sense of normalcy. His resolve to stay and engage, even when he didn't feel like it, serves as a practical example: if he can find the strength to stay, so can I.
From Possession to Offering: The "A-ha" Moment
One of the most profound shifts this book prompted was the realization that I have been holding onto my pain as "mine"—a personal possession to be guarded. Bill gently guides the reader toward the "a-ha" moment of taking that pain and offering it to God as a sacrifice. It is a simple truth I already "knew" in my head, but Bill’s scars gave him the authority to help that truth land in my heart. I realized I don't have to focus on the pain; I can take the pain to God, and through that offering, He provides the strength for the next breath.
The Gap in Muscle Memory
Bill is 16 years my senior and has a lifetime of consistent faith. I walked away from my faith at 18 and didn't return until my 40s. Because of that, his "muscle memory" for spiritual disciplines—like staying in the Word and worship during a crisis—is more developed than mine. This book bridges that gap. It doesn't offer a step-by-step method, but rather a gentle encouragement to "stay the course" for those of us still building those faith muscles in the midst of a storm.
For Those Standing Beside the Grieving
I have lost other family members and friends, but the loss of a spouse is a uniquely isolating and painful experience. Many of my married friends have expressed that they "can't fathom" what I am going through. If you are a friend of someone who has lost a spouse, I highly recommend reading this book. It provides a window into the "rain-cloud" we carry and can help you better understand the nuances of a journey that is often difficult to explain to those who haven't walked it.
A Word to the Weary
I would not necessarily recommend this book for someone in the "raw," immediate weeks of grief. Reading it is a deep, tearful experience that requires intentionality. My advice is to read it slowly—perhaps a chapter at a time—allowing yourself the space to put it down for a day or two to process. It isn't a manual to be completed; it is a conversation to be sat with.
My GoodReads.com rating: 5 stars - ★★★★★ - "It was amazing."~~Ken
Title: Removing the Sting of Death: Experience New Depths of God's Presence in Times of Pain, Grief and Loss
Author: Bill Johnson
Genre: Christian non-fiction
ISBN13: 978-0768482959
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